backed again..

sometime really felt tat im e extras in e world.
everything i do never seems to succeed..
my life ish so boring,so black nn white..
NO DREAMS,NO GOALS,NO SUCCESS..
really hope tat my life will b as colourful as others.
but everything i do always seems to be wrong.
i've no commitment to e world or even to a little small things.
i dunno how to explain it.
i really felt plain nn white for my life..
beautiful images do appear b4 in my eyes,but not in my life.
i hate myself to be so obtimistic.i hate myself for not having my own decision.
i hate myself not being a book worm to focus myself into studies.
i hate myself being so useless,i hate myself not having e courage to move on.
i hate myself in hurting others.
i hate myself when im hating myself.
but what can i do to change myself?
currently i just felt so tired..tired of what i am doing..
im really afraid my future will be ruin in my own hands.
my frens always says.
"life ish not bout finding yourseld,life ish about creating yourself "
but haven even found myself how to creat?
i do have a lot of frens,but true fren tat really knows mie?dun think have.
cause seriously speaking i dun even understand myself,how do i expect others to know e real miie?

FAKE OR REAL??

I WAN A COLOURFUL LIFE!


(just a shout out to make myself comfortable.ignore it.)
thanks for listening.

xiaoyann..